Build Me Up, Margerinecup
by miss a.j
Summary: Reupload of a 2005 story. Freddy and Zack need to figure some things out, together, and fight the man. SLASH.
1. Chapter 1

Build Me Up, Margerinecup

By a.j.

_The night was, well, it wasn't young if it was anything. If anything, it was very, very old and just about to fall over, die, and spit out its dentures while it was at it. It was 4:27 in the morning, exactly, and Freddy and Zack were still up. They lay facing each other, laying inside their sleeping bags which were laid side by side, their eyes drooping. They didn't dare fall asleep, though, because that meant you were weak, you were a girl, you were a sissy. They didn't sleep at sleepovers anymore, not after the one they had had on New Year's Eve when they wanted to see who could stay up the longest. As it had turned out, both of them could._

"_High School starts next week," Freddy murmured, his mouth barely moving. "Mmm," Zack countered._

"_We're getting kind of old."_

"_Mmm."_

"_Maybe we shouldn't do this anymore."_

"_Maybe."_

_They stared at each other for awhile, each knowing this might as well had been their proverbial step into manhood. Not like Zack hadn't done that already. He was a good Jewish boy and he had had his bar mitzvah like everybody else, and it had been grand and he had read almost perfectly and everybody came and School of Rock got to perform. It was the best thing in the world, especially when Freddy gave him that big hug that sent little warm fuzzies up and down his spine. Ah yes, a very nice day._

_But this seemed bigger, this seemed like the End instead of the Beginning. He wasn't sure if he liked it._

"_Hey Jones?"_

_Freddy's eyes, which had been wavering a bit, snapped open._

"_What's up, Mooneyham?"_

"_We're going to stay tight, right?"_

_Freddy grinned at him from five inches away. His hand came out of his sleeping bag and reached for Zack, and for a second Zack thought maybe he had fallen asleep. That is, until the hand punched Zack lightly in the ribs._

"_Duh."_

_Zack smiled._

It was the only natural thing, really. I mean, who really wants to sit around at school all day and hear some skinny bastard talk about Chemistry? And by the way, was it some universal rule that every fucking Chem teacher had to be some scrawny-ass, nerdy old guy with thinning hair and a stick up his ass?

It was enough to make Zack furious.

Not that he had anything to be furious about. Not when he had done the natural thing. He had decided to ditch.

It was only natural! Who wants to stay at school when you have a new boyfriend, somebody who you have just spent the night spooning with under the stars?

Okay, not exactly under the stars since they were in a tent, but still. It was, like, Zack's big, fucking romantic dream. In fact, he had dreamed it once, when he was eleven. It started out like a normal dream, just the two of them out camping in some woods he had never been to in his life. Zack had just gotten settled into his sleeping bag when suddenly, he was inside of Freddy's sleeping bag, very close and very confused, a move that only made sense, literally, in his dreams.

Dream-Freddy had stayed perfectly still in his bag, the only thing moving being his lips.

"I love you, Zack. I always have."

Seeing as Zack was only eleven, the most sexually explicit thing he could imagine was them with their shirts suddenly off, holding hands and lightly kissing. Still, it had managed to be his first wet dream, and had also been the thing that finally convinced him that he wasn't Normal. As he got older, his dreams got more explicit, until finally there was always hardcore sex wherever the fuck they were, no matter where. Against a tree. At school. In his own bed. Hell, once in his dreams they had done it in a circus.

That was a dream nobody was to ever know about.

It was always weird when dreams became a reality, though. Zack was so certain that if he closed his eyes and opened them again that the body next to him would disappear and he would wake up alone again in his own bed, the past week a dream. He was so fucking certain that he had never kissed Freddy, that Freddy had never spent the night again, that band practice hadn't ended up in a serious make-out session in Zack's room before they decided on the tent.

Still, he had decided to ditch. The only thing was, he was way nervous and, in the end, didn't ditch at all. He kind of blamed himself. No matter how many times Freddy had ditched school, it would be a new sensation to Zack. And, okay, he knew that most of what they had done had to have been new to Freddy, or at least the fact that he was doing it with a guy. He was completely sure that half of the chicks at school had banged Freddy, something that really, if he thought about it too hard made his stomach churn up and his face turn slightly green because, hello, ew.

And, okay, if he was feeling girly the thought kind of scared him. Because really, half the girl population? That was a lot to live up to. He wasn't sure if he could compete with that kind of experience, that kind of precedence. The furthest he had ever gone was second base, almost third base, but then his girlfriend had known something was wrong and had stopped him. They had broken up the next day and nothing more was said. And, okay, technically he had gotten Freddy's shirt of and so that gave him some experience but he couldn't say much more. He hadn't even kissed that many girls, and God knows that kissing Freddy is anything but like kissing a girl.

He was nervous.

But based on the little sounds Freddy had made, he guessed he wasn't doing to terribly.

So anyway, he obviously had been with Freddy too long because he was developing ADD.

But really, they totally could have ditch. They were going to ditch. Zack had even mentioned the idea, when they were in his room hurriedly trying to get ready amidst the angry shouting of his dad. Zack just grinned, leaned close to Freddy and whispered "We don't have to go to school, you know." And that was enough for Freddy.

Freddy, who was busy trying to squeeze into Zack's clothes, Zack's underwear, and Zack knew that was all he was going to think about all day. Something he had worn being that close to Freddy. Intimately close. His pants hugging those long legs, his shirt stretching over that sexy back, sexy chest, the chest he had seen, and Zack was almost certain it wouldn't matter if he was at school or not because it wasn't like he would be able to concentrate anyway.

But then Zack's dad had burst in, never mind knocking, and announced that they were officially late and he knew this would happen and he would drive them but that would mean he would be late for work and Zack was in trouble. The man was, if nothing else, a rock, no matter who was there. Fucking rocks.

So he drove them and they ended up at school, and they would have left then but he got out of the car and made them go up to the school's office and tell them that they were late because they decided to have a sleepover on a Sunday night even though the next day was a school day, and they got unexcused slips to go to class. They would have left then, but then Zack's dad even walked them to their classes to make sure they got there, and his son kept on squeezing his eyes and hoping that this was a nightmare because his dad never got like this, never got this angry, this controlling, this embarrassing. He was fucking angry, angry at his dad for being like this, and it took all of his strength not to want to beat his dad up like he tried to beat Freddy up except, you know, without the sexual tension.

But then, a lot of things that day would make him angry.


	2. Chapter 2

Build Me Up, Margerinecup

By a.j.

_The first thought that registered in his mind was "Big." When he went to Horace Green Preparatory Elementary School, and then Candace Ferguson Preparatory Middle High School the schools were, admittingly, relatively small. They still had to house a zoo of children of all ages yet seemed to remain cozy. They were familiar and warm and made of red brick with bright classrooms with interesting globes and posters that told him he could do anything if he really wanted to. Well, okay, so at the time he thought that the posters were complete shit and the rooms were too small, too confining, too close to everybody else and too fucking preppy. But now, now he longs for the classrooms of old._

_Now all he sees are a bunch of ants milling into their giant ant hole, except these ants are bigger and scarier and he knows they'll do whatever the fuck they want to do, especially if that includes beating up skinny, dark-haired fags. Because he just knows that all of those jocks over there? They have perfect gaydar. They can sense him from a mile away, they must know the smell, the smell of the homo. And he knows they'll be coming his way._

_He looks over and sees Freddy running up to him. They had called each other the night before and planned out their outfits for the first day of public school, so he already knew what Freddy would be wearing. Black, baggy pants with those red striped up the side. Red t-shirt. Red wrist band. Hair spiked to perfection. And he looked exactly has he had in Zack's dream: like an angel._

_Well, okay, an angel who looked like he was trying too hard to be punk, but an angel nonetheless._

_And for himself? He looked more like a dog than an angel. His hair was messy, but he kind of liked it that way. He was going to wear his giant Metallica shirt, but his mother forbade him to ever wear "that dirty, nasty, ratty shirt" ever again, so it was hanging up in his closet in all its faded, giant glory. Instead, he wore his new Metallica shirt, this one very, very fitted because he supposed his mother had wanted to go the opposite way when she bought it for him. He wore dark jeans with this and a studded belt and he just knew it, just knew it, everyone just knew he was gay. Damn the tight shirt. Damn it to hell._

_Freddy had gotten to him, surveyed the shirt and wrinkled his nose._

"_It makes you look like a fag."_

_He grinned at Zack and laughed, loud and raucous and Zack blushed._

"_Uh, my mom got it for me. Let's go in."_

"_Okay."_

_And they joined the militia of ants, marching two by two to their classes._

Chemistry sucked. Yeah. There was no way around it. Because, well, he could stand Biology. That was actually kind of cool. You got to dissect frogs and shit, and you got to learn how things worked, and he thought that was really interesting. True, he couldn't pee or shit without thinking about kidneys and shit, but it was pretty much the only class he got an A in freshman year. Besides English, that is.

And it wasn't like he got a D in the rest of his classes, like Freddy. He got those two A's, three B's and one C, which was in Spanish. But that was okay, because he was only grounded for a few weeks, not a month like Freddy.

Of course, he had a D in Chemistry at the moment which he found way too hard to be any kind of fun at all. Because really, when would he need to know in life how many electrons were in the stupid cloud or whatever. He didn't see why balancing molecules would help him in any way in his musical career, unless he decided to become one of those educational children's singers like Raffi or The Wiggles. He could just imagine it now.

"So stick your tongue down your best friend's throat! Come on kids! Do it now! See! Isn't that fun! Sing with me! Waffle the Walrus was a queer! So he licked his best friend's ear! And when he got that low-down tingle he screwed him in the rear! Hey! Left side of the room starts, right side of the room after! Make it a round! LEFT SIDE! Waffle the Walrus..."

On second thought. Hey, sing what you know, right? Or was that "write what you know."

And okay, he had seriously been hanging out with Freddy for too long if his thoughts were this scattered.

Right at that moment, a piece of paper flew across the room and hit him in the head. It ricocheted onto his desk and then on to the floor. At that moment, his Chemistry teacher decided that it would be the perfect time to turn around from the board and lecture on whatever the hell he was lecturing about for a billion hours.

Conveniently enough, Zack's desk happened to be at the front of the classroom, not four feet away from where Mr. Henderson was talking.

As quickly and fluidly as he could, he slipped his feet out from under his desk and sideways so that they covered the piece of paper on the ground. Zack did his best to look casual, swinging one leg over the other. Time seemed to pass like a turtle sludging through chocolate fudge on a July afternoon when the fudge was boiling and sticking to the sidewalk which was made out of jell-o. He was never listening in the first place, but suddenly it seemed as though Mr. Henderson's lips were moving in slow-motion and his voice dropped about three octaves. And then, he couldn't hear words anymore, just a low drone of a muted trombone like he was fucking Charlie Brown or something. He started jiggling the foot what was leaning on his knee, getting impatient.

"Is something wrong, Mr. Mooneyham?"

And then, the room got about fifty degrees hotter. Because of the heat, he stopped jiggling his foot to conserve energy. The same energy that was being poured out of his forehead in liquid form at top speeds.

"Um, so Sir, I'm fine, er, Sir."

Mr. Henderson frowned at him and then resumed his droning, and since Zack's ears were now at top working conditions he could hear some very Freddy-sounding snickering from the back of the room. Thankfully, Mr. Henderson soon turned around to face the board and explain something or whatever and Zack immediately reached down and got the paper out from under his foot. He quickly and not-so-quietly opened it in his lap, his whole body happy to see the familiar, boyish scribbling.

I'm wearing your underwear.

Zack looked up, made sure that Mr. Henderson was busy, and shot a quick glance at the back of the room. Freddy was smirking at him- fucking smirking- and his converse were on top of the desk, his legs crossed.

Zack smiled back and looked back down at the note, reading it over and over, the words imprinted in his mind.

I'm wearing your underwear. I'm wearing your underwear. I'm wearing your underwear. I'm wearing your underwear.

So Chemistry class wasn't so bad. When you thought about it.

They met up after class, thankful that science came right before lunch. Freddy practically trotted over to Zack, blowing off whatever friend he had been talking to and wrapping his arm over the other boy's shoulders, hyper as always.

"How's it shakin', bacon?"

Zack looked around, nervous, and was absolutely fucking certain he saw a few people point and stare.

Freddy! He's hanging out with that fag! Is he a fag? Oh my God they're doing it. Ew, those freaks should be kicked out of school. I'll kick them out of school myself. I'll kill them. Might as well. They're just fagging up the world. Fags.

"Freddy!" He took the offending arm off of his shoulder and worked hard not to look at his blonde sex god. Oh God, His blonde sex god. Shut up, bad thoughts. Right, people staring, hating. Freddy. Why did I wait this long? Bad silence. "Um, don't you think it'll look a little weird if we're buddy buddy all of a sudden?"

The boy next to him shrugged. "So? Let them think what they want to think."

"I don't want those people to kill you."

"Nobody wants to kill us."

"Freddy, they're whispering and pointing and staring and laughing."

Freddy rolled his eyes and shoved his boyfriend-boyfriend? Nice thought-playfully.

"Dude, you think too much. Nobody is pointing or staring or whispering or laughing. Nobody is paying attention to us. Nobody."

Zack wasn't so sure, because after all that group of shadows? It always followed him. And laughed. And pointed. And whispered. It was, like, his little shadow. But if Freddy said they didn't exist…

And then he was pulled into the bathroom.

As if the gods had suddenly decided that they loved Zack, it was completely empty. Still, Freddy dragged Zack by the collar into an empty stall, which he promptly pushed him up against. And like rain on the desert or some equally as girly and fucking stupid metaphor, Freddy's lips crushed against his.

They became a giant blob of a person, all teeth and lips and hands and legs, just moving and making those little noises and Zack's wasn't even sure who was who anymore but fuck it felt so good and right and why didn't he kiss Freddy earlier again because he could have saved himself years of angst and anger and sexual frustration but oh maybe all the frustration was getting out and it made it this good and shut up and stop thinking, Mooneyham. They didn't separate into two separate people for a long while, until Zack was quite sure lunch was almost over and they had officially just spent a half an hour making out in the dirtiest place in school. Finally, it was like he exhaled all of Freddy out of him and they emerged from the bathroom stall, very much sweaty and dirty and very not unhappy anymore.

"Come on Zack, let's get some food!" His voice was almost a whine, which made Zack furrow his brow.

"Freddy, the bell is about to ring."

"But I'm hungry."

Zack sighed. He didn't even have to look, he knew that Freddy was giving him those goddamn puppy eyes that he fell for every time. He didn't even have to look this time to fall, hard.

"Fine."

"Yes!" he shouted, grinning to the sky. He quickly grabbed Zack's hand and dragged him down to the courtyard and up to the window to order his food. Just like Zack thought, they had been gone so long that there was no line left at all.

"I want a cheeseburger, a pizza bread, a large order of fries, and a diet coke, please!"

Zack laughed, off to the side, especially when Freddy had to carry all of the food away in the little cardboard tray they gave the kids as though that wasn't just a flimsy napkin and half as effective.

"Are you going to eat all of that?"

"No, you're sharing it with me. I got half for you."

They smiled at each other, a smile that quickly disappeared once Zack realized in which direction they were headed.

They were going straight for the hardcore punks, the same people who shouted "Fag!" at Zack in the hallway, laughed at him, and generally tried their best to make his life a living hell. And these people, he knew, weren't a figment of his imagination. He knew this because he always say Freddy with them. He was their friend.

"Freddy-"

"Don't worry, they'll like you."

"They hate me."

"They don't know you."

"They don't want to know me."

By this point, they had reached the group of people which included, much to Zack's complete lack of comfort, Crissa Harrison, girl with the platinum blonde hair, very large tits, very short plaid skirts, and, oh yeah, she was still technically Freddy's girlfriend.

The largest and most threatening-looking boy of all stood up, seeing Zack by Freddy's side.

"Dude, what the fuck are you going bringing The Fag here."

Freddy's face immediately went from Hyper Amusement to Confused Rage.

"Kevin, don't call him that, you shithead."

At this point, the girlfriend spoke up. God, even her voice annoyed Zack. How could anyone kiss somebody with a voice like that?

"Baby, why are you being this way?"

"Because Zack is cool, okay? And if I say he's cool, then he's cool. So let him hang, you guys, chill."

The Kevin guy shook his head.

"Look, dude, either you stay and it's just you or the both of you go."

Freddy looked between the two groups of people, and for the first time in almost a day Zack could remember why he got so angry in the first place

. He left before he could hear the answer, and instead all he heart was the raucous laughter of the hyenas that were Freddy and his friends.him angry.


	3. Chapter 3

Build Me Up, Margerinecup

By a.j.

_Classes weren't hard. God, but they were easy – almost too easy, but then not every kid that went to a public school was meticulously schooled in subjects such as European History before they were six. It had only been a week and already he was bored to death and had memorized how many dots were on the ceiling tiles._

_It didn't help that Freddy was nowhere to be seen half the time, and the other half of the time he was growing increasingly rude to Zack. They still ate lunch together, meeting every day inside the cafeteria, Zack with his pizza-bread and fruit cut and Freddy with his burger and fries. They would laugh and talk shit about their classes, make rude jokes about their teachers, and talk about girls. At least, Zack pretended to be talking about girls, the hot ones, the skinny ones, and desirable ones. The sad thing was he knew Freddy wasn't kidding, not when he was talking about girls and not when he was telling Zack that he was so much of a fucking fag sometimes and he needed to be more hardcore._

_And then, thirteen days into the new school year – Zack had counted – he came to school, waited for Freddy in their usual spot, and he kept on waiting. And waiting. Until, twenty-one minutes later – Zack had counted – Freddy showed up, sauntering down the sidewalk, a pretty, brown-haired girl at his side. Her hair was long, pulled back into a high ponytail, framing her face in a dark halo, her legs impossibly long for her petite frame and covered in a cobweb of fishnets, large boots covering her feet and half of her legs, a red skirt clinging to her thighs, a red Ramones t-shirt encasing her seemingly swollen breasts. And as they walked up the steps to the school, he could see that her Satan-damned hands were in Freddy's back pockets._

_And Freddy didn't look at Zack for another sixteen days – he was counting - until band practice when he walked in, started drumming, and smiled at the group._

"_So are we playing?"_

…………………

The first thing he registered was the sound of the bell signaling him to go to class slowly breaking through the muffled barrier his ears had set up, the sound of the hyena-laughter still ringing. The second thing that registered in his brain was the fact that he was suddenly grabbed from behind and dragged into a nearby closet. A hand covered his mouth, a body pinning him to the wall, and a ragged voice whispering in his ear for him to be quiet. Zack immediately started fighting against the body, enraged and annoyed; he was no match for Freddy, who had either been working out and had some store of muscles hidden somewhere or really wanted Zack where he was and nowhere else. Eventually, he just gave up and stood limply, listening first to the sound of the crowds pass by, then the bell ringing, then the utter silence as everybody was in their classrooms. They waited a few moments, Zack worried about the school police catching them in the closet and what that would look like, how his father would be called, how he would be expelled from school for being gay, how he would be stoned in the street…

"Don't worry, the school police don't check the closets. They're too stupid to think of that."

Zack pushed Freddy, who had finally let his guard down, managing to put a good foot between them.

"Fuck you," he spat. Despite the fact that he could barely see anything, he was still able to catch the anger and fire that flashed in Freddy's eyes.

"What the fuck? Fuck you Zack! I didn't do anything!" His voice was an angry whisper, which reminded Zack of where they were. Still, he couldn't help but raise his voice more than that, his anger boiling over.

"Oh yeah, nothing except abandon me for your stupid, fucking friends."

"I didn't abandon you for my friends!"

"You laughed at me with them! You stayed with them!"

"You didn't give me a fucking chance to go with you, shit-face. If you had stayed around, you'd have heard me tell them to fuck off and we could have walked off together."

Then, silence hit the closet, the only sounds being the short, shallow breaths from both of the boys. Zack stared, not believing what he was hearing.

"But I heard you laughing, I saw you with that girl, I…"

"Well you heard and saw wrong, stupid. I want you, not those idiots. I want to meet your friends, be with your people, be with you."

The foot of space was still between them, but the words flowed over Zack as though there wasn't even a breath's space that distanced the two boys.

"I don't have any friends."

This confession came out before any coherent thought could stop him. He tried to cover his mouth, as though this would bring the words back. It was as if saying it made it suddenly true, made him realize it for the first time, and suddenly he remembered how completely alone he had always been feeling.

"What? No. You have friends. What about that kid I saw you with a few months ago?"

"James? I haven't talked to him in a year, not since he and I, uh-" Zack stopped his speech just in time, keeping back those two words in his brain.

"You what?" Freddy paused, then Zack could sense his mouth dropping, his body temperature rising. "Oh my God. You two broke up." Damn. "That means you were together. That means you were Together." Fuckfuckfuck, shut up. "You two fucked. You fucked that piece of shit?" Wait. "He wasn't even hot! Did he break up with you? The fuckwad! I'll beat him up. Do you want me to beat him up for you? I'll-"

And before he could hold it back, Zack burst out laughing, his chuckles breaking through the wall of tension inside the room. Within moments the distance was closed as Zack stepped forward, took the other boy's head between his hands and placed a thousand hot, tiny kisses all over the face.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he breathed in between kisses. "I should have trusted you…"

"Damn right," Freddy agreed, and Zack felt his hands come to rest on his own lower back. He pulled back and looked at Freddy, stopping the barrage of kisses for a moment.

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"Do you forgive me?"

"Mmm. Maybe."

Zack smiled, sensing the dare and the question hanging in the air between them.

"What do I have to do?"

"Tell me about that stupid, fuckwad James."

Zack bit his lip, letting his hands fall from the face and onto the other boy's shoulder.

"I don't know what to tell you…"

"Were you dating?"

"Sort of." Which was the truth. It wasn't as though they had exchanged vows or even fucking told each other that they liked each other.

"Did you fuck?"

Zack blushed, memories that he had spent the last year trying to hide flooding into his brain. He knew the hesitation gave it away, but at the same time he didn't want to say it out loud.

"Jesus. You two were doing the horizontal tango every day, weren't you?"

"Well what about What's-Her-Face? You fucked her, right?"

"Duh. But this isn't about me, this is about you." Freddy paused, frowning slightly. "Christ, I knew you were kissing too good for me to be your first or any shit like that. Not that, uh, I wanted to be your first or anything girly like that, but you know. Anyway. James. We're talking about James. What were you doing with James? I thought you wanted me?"

"James was actually speaking to me." Zack knew his voice was angry, but he guessed that was kind of what happened when months and months of pent-up anger and sadness came out. Still, he felt bad after he could feel the hurt in the other boy's body.

"Ouch, Zack. I'm sorry. I guess I forgot that up until a few days ago we weren't talking. Uh," he paused. Freddy smacked his lips a few times, obviously thinking. "Well. Uh. How did you two meet?"

"Freshman English. He sat in front of me."

"Gotcha. Love at first sight?"

"Hardly. More like we both knew the other was gay, we were both lonely, so we hung out and made out all the time."

"Oh. I guess I was hoping for something all romantic comedy or some shit."

"Because our courtship was so romantic. Oh yeah, I can see it now, a movie poster, our names on it, a beautiful sunset in the background, fucking Julia Roberts and all."

"Yeah, but she'd have to play you."

"Fuck you."

"But you're so damn pretty and all!" Freddy laughed, his voice almost a high cackle. "She could cut her hair. But not too short, your hair is so fucking long I don't know why you don't just braid it and get over with it."

"Fuck you!" Zack smiled, knowing Freddy was just teasing him.

"Yes, please." The smile melted away from Zack's face to be replaced by an open mouth as he felt the other boy's hips grounding against his suddenly, the response immediate. Zack flushed and felt the blood rushing to his groin, especially since Freddy's hands had suddenly migrated south a few more inches.

"We should fight more often…" he heard Freddy whisper into his ear, sending chills down his back. "We always end up making out in some confined space afterwards."

Zack took his mouth then, his hands moving once again up to Freddy's head, this time to grab at his hair and pull him closer. Before he realized what was happening, their positions were reversed, and Freddy's hands were underneath his shirt, digging into his back.

"What's it like?" he murmured as he made his way down Zack's neck, who was wondering how he could manage to have questions at a time like this, let along string together a coherent fucking sentence.

"What's… what like?"

"Fucking. A boy."

Zack tried his hardest to think, trying to come up with an answer. Finally, he settled on a word.

"Hot."

He felt the laugh against his collarbone, and felt the mouth coming back up until once again they were kissing, and the tongue was in his mouth, and no they weren't fucking – yet – but yes this was definitely hot.

"Show me," Freddy moaned when they finally broke apart for a few seconds. It took a few moments for the words to finally sink in, and when they did Zack laughed a bit.

"What?"

"Fuck me," Freddy gasped as he rubbed their crotches together.

"We've been boyfriends for less than two days. How easy do you think I am?"

They broke apart suddenly, and Zack thought it was just because Freddy was going to laugh at his joke. However, he looked, well, unreadable, and that was what worried Zack.

"Boyfriends?"

His breath caught in his throat. Fuck. He'd fucked up again. Shit, now Freddy thought he was girly, that he was stupid, a fucking retard…

"I… I kind of like the sound of that."

Zack could only watch as Freddy came closer again, hands reaching up to hold his head in place, face coming in closer, lips touching his. This kiss was different, in so many stupid, poetic, girly ways that somehow all said that now they were really together and it wasn't just about sex, and even if it was girly it was kind of true. If nothing else, it was gentler, slower.

And then the bell rang. Zack tried to pull back, but Freddy pulled him in closer, kissing him that much harder to keep him there.

"Freddy," he gasped, trying to speak before his mind melted again.

"You're gorgeous."

"The bell rang."

"I know."

"We should go to class."

"We should also still hate each other, but…" Freddy took this opportunity to slip his hands down the back of Zack's pants. "For some reason, I like you. Way more than I've ever liked anybody."

So apparently Freddy was pretty fucking good at getting what he wanted.

…………………

It was risky, and both of them knew it, but thankfully they were both able to sneak out of the closet right before the bell rang signaling the end of the day, letting them ride the waves out of the building as the crowds rushed for freedom. Freddy wanted to walk Zack home, but since they lived in opposite directions from their high school he declined. Still, before they officially parted they had to, of course, sneak behind the local AM-PM for some goodbye-kisses and tongue-action and groping. Because it's what people do, right?

He hoped so, anyway.

So when he got home he wasn't particularly thinking, especially since his mind was kind of focused on the fact that he'd just spent a good portion of the day making out with his new boyfriend, who agreed that they were boyfriends, who he had wanted to be boyfriends with for years and years, and he kind of felt like jumping on the roof and screaming that he had a boyfriend, God dammit! Which probably led him upstairs, to where he laid on his bed and turned on the stereo and snuggled into his bed, smelling the Freddy that was still there from when they had made out the day before prior to dinner and prior to the tent and prior to the long make-out session in the tent as well. He kind of worried that every time they were alone they were immediately making out since it wasn't like gay teenagers were stereotyped as being sexpots anyway, but they stereotypes be damned, Freddy was fucking hot and it took every ounce of strength in him not to just take him every time he saw him. He knew Freddy was willing, and he knew it would be great, but he also felt like maybe he should hold out for a few more seconds at least, for the sake of mystery or some shit like that. And the thought of "why buy the cow when you could get the milk for free" came into his mind, thanks to his mother's conservative Christian upbringing, and he laughed, picturing himself as a horny cow.

So it was all of these thoughts that were busy swirling in his mind before he clicked the button on his answering machine and heard the dozen threats from Freddy's old friends that awaited him. So, uh, holy fuck.

him angry.


	4. Chapter 4

Build Me Up, Margerinecup

By a.j.

_He could clearly remember the first time he talked to James. It was nine days into the school year, before Freddy left him for a ho-bag-bitch from hell, and the first time he was forced out of his thoughts and into reality._

"_Excuse me…"_

_Zack's brain had finally registered the person speaking to him. He looked forward and saw a face grinning at him. Skin dark as a Star-fucks specialty with just enough creamer mixed into it, hair curly and wild about his face, the immense whiteness of his teeth coming from the forest of shadows startling. First impression? Fag. Big, fucking fag. Judging by his tight black t-shirt and dark, designer jeans with distressed thigh and knee areas and brown and orange Etnies, not to mention the way that the boy was looking at him. Still, Zack didn't get that look often, so he guessed he kind of liked this boy already._

"_Uh, what? Sorry, what?"_

"_My pencil is under your shoe. Can I have it back?"_

_Zack blushed a bit, bent over and retrieved the pencil. He reached out to give the boy his pencil back, but instead of just taking the pencil the dark skinned boy grabbed Zack's hand as if to shake it. Except for the fact that he didn't shake it._

"_James Alcala."_

_Zack gulped a little to himself, staring at their hands. This moment seemed really, really big, but then again it could just be his Big Gay Girly side coming out._

"_Zack Mooneyham," he countered, finally, brushing the bangs out of his eyes. This made James smile._

"_Hang out with me at lunch sometime." Zack could get used to that smile._

"_Oh, I can't, I eat with my, uh, friend, Freddy."_

"_Well," he said, the tone of his voice sounding like he knew something Zack didn't. "The offer always stands."_

_It was then that Zack realized that James had already taken his hand and his pencil back, even if he could still feel them on his hands, hot as Hell-fire._

Dinner that night was tense, his dad still angry that he had been late to work on Zack's behalf, himself because of the angry messages he had deleted off of the machine before anybody else came home, and his mother because she didn't want to set off fucking World War III. And besides, the best he would be able to do was shout and throw peas at the mother fucker, and then he would get grounded and escorted to class again, so he really didn't see the point. So he did the only thing he could do, which was shut the hell up, eat his damn peas, and when he was done he excused himself quietly and left to go to his room.

He fell back on his bed, exhausted from the day. Still, for some reason no matter how much he told his mind that he was tired and needed sleep, his mind kept on thinking about the day. About how great Freddy was for leaving his friends for him. About how now those same friends were calling Zack every bad name in the world and telling him how he was going to get the shit kicked out of him. About how he wasn't worth Freddy's time. It was just the thing to make Zack wonder why he ever talked to people and why he bothered feeling lonely, if this is what it meant to have friends. He didn't even really understand why they were all out to get him. It never seemed like they were that tight-knit of a group in the first place, so why they would get angry was beyond him. But then, he really had no clue about them in the first place and, more importantly, whether they were smart enough to figure out what was going on.

Zack picked up the remote to his sound system off of the floor and turned on Coldplay, the sad, emo music sharply contrasting the happy sounds he had been listening to earlier, especially since it wasn't as if he wanted to broadcast to the world that he even owned the Coldplay CD. Just as "Spies" was coming on the phone rang and he picked it up without thought, expecting it to be one of his father's co-workers or somebody like that.

"Mooneyham residence," he drawled, kicking his bed as he lay on his back.

"Are you listening to Parachutes?"

"Fuck, Freddy?" Zack hurried to turn his music down, embarrassed enough that somebody caught him listening to emo-pop, not to mention that it was his boyfriend and that he was pretty sure they were still at the stage where it was okay to hide things.

Freddy only laughed at Zack's response and confessed "Well, I'm listening to X&Y, so."

Zack laughed at this, feeling like it had been years since he was laughed.

"So I guess we're both lame."

"Well at least we're lame together." Freddy paused, and Zack could mentally picture him much like he himself was, laying down on his bed, staring at the ceiling, fiddling with his t-shirt. He heard Freddy take a deep breath on the other line, the kind where their mouths are too close to the phone so you can hear little pops and crackles with it. "Um, hey, did you get any messages?"

"They called you, too?"

"Yeah. Threatening to kill me and shit. Jesus, I had forgotten how protective they are of 'The Group.'" Zack sensed the air-quotes and laughed nervously.

"So they're always like this?"

"I wouldn't know, the only person who ever left their group since it started in third grade left before I joined it. Exclusive membership or some shit like that. Anyway, they said they harassed her so much she convinced her parents to move out of the fucking state."

"Shit, Freddy."

"They could just be exaggerating. Who the hell knows, I was too scared to ask." He paused again, this time too long.

"Hey. You okay?"

"Yeah," Freddy answered quickly, if not somewhat shakily. "I'm just kind of worried. I mean, fuck, my life finally starts to get good and before the day is over it's all fucked up again. I never thought they wouldn't accept you. Well, okay, so you were kind of a topic that was brought up a lot and we made fun of you a lot, but, uh, um. Yeah. Sorry? I was stupid. And, um, you're hot?"

Zack smiled to himself. "Whatever."

"I'm sorry. Really. I was stupid. Shallow, even. But I was still hot. But stupid. And you're the greatest thing that's happened to me, really. We should spend every night cramped together in a tiny tent, because that was one of the best experiences of my life, and not just because we were sleeping together. Even if we didn't fuck. Jesus, Zack, I can't stop thinking about fucking you. I know that sounds stupid, but dammit, I want you, Zack, I want you bad. And you need to fucking stop laughing, because I'm fucking serious. That's it. We're so over." He paused. "Shut the fuck up, Zack, and quit laughing."

But all of this pleading only made Zack laugh that much more, now halfway off the bed and clutching his sides, tears streaming down his face.

"Freddy, you're the God damn funniest person I know."

"I was serious!" Freddy gasped, almost shrieked, obviously faking hurt.

"That's what funny."

"No, I mean it. I'm sorry," he said, sounding genuinely sorry.

"I know." He picked himself up off of the floor where he had finally ended up and got back on the bed. All of this "sorry" shit made him uncomfortable and, okay, at least somewhat annoyed. Of course, that doesn't mean Freddy would stop doing it. Of course.

"Do you forgive me for being the biggest asshole this side of the Mississippi?"

"Yes, I forgive you for fuck's sake. Now shut up." Obviously the annoyed side of him was starting to win out over the uncomfortable.

"What, no punishment? No bad-boy spanks?"

That made Zack snort out loud before he could stop himself, and he could almost hear Freddy's grin stretch over his mouth over the phone.

"Do I need to ask what you and the Skanks of the Week did?" Zack countered, already reminded as to why he missed Freddy so much. Playful banter was hard to come by unless you were a cast member on some WB show.

"Obviously not as much as you and James did," Freddy countered. Zack laughed half-heartedly, humming to himself.

"I guess you'll never know, will you?" Zack teased him, liking the desperate Freddy who begged. Not in any sexual way or anything. Of course.

"Come on, Zack. God, you have to be the fucking lamest guy I know. You have a seriously hot guy-"

"Don't forget humble."

"-who is ready and really, really, really willing to let you fuck his brains out, but you decide to be all Mr. Celibate. What the fuck, really."

"You know you like it," Zack pointed out.

"I knew I should have stayed with the girls that put out," Freddy teased right back.

"Come on, baby, they don't love you like I love you," Zack did his best attempt at a low purr, even if it came out sounding more like a crackling hen trying to be seductive.

"Ooh, are we going to be doing Yeah Yeah Yeahs now?" The next thing Zack heard was a loud howl and a high pitched voice coming from the other end so loudly that he had to hold the phone away from his ear.

"Hot night! Dun dun dun! Cold light! Dun dun dun! Be my heater be my love! Dun dun dun dun dun dun and we can do it to each other! Go go go go go!" What followed was Freddy doing his best to imitate the guitar and the drums at the same time, and then a loud shout of "ride, Daddy, ride!"

"Okay, shut up, shut up! There's a reason I'm the lead singer." Zack managed to shout through his laughter. It worked, Freddy's voice returning at a normal level, sounding quite winded.

"You know I'm better than Karen O., babe. So much better." He paused to huff a few times. "Shit, Zack, you've got me dancing around my room and thrusting my hips like a fucking glam rocker or some shit. What's wrong with me."

"Must be my hypnotic personality," Zack deadpanned. Freddy laughed in response, low and raspy.

"Your turn. Sing me a song."

"The hell. I don't know. I can't think of any songs," Zack was still laughing. Dammit, but he couldn't stop giggling like a little girl.

"Sing me. Shit. Backstreet Boys."

"The fuck, Freddy?" Zack almost screamed this. "You think I know Backstreet Boys songs?"

"You know Coldplay," Freddy teased. "Come on, dig deep into your childhood! I'll start singing if I have to." He paused, and when Zack didn't do anything, he continued. "Fine, I'll start." He cleared his throat and started singing, his voice crackling. "I don't care who you are, where you're from…"

Zack started in quietly, both amazed and embarrassed that he knew any of this song.

"Don't care what you did as long as you love me," he sang. He could hear the smug smile on Freddy's side of the line as he sang, making Zack sing a bit louder. "Don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did, as long as you love me. Every little thing that you have said or done!"

It was as he sang the last line that he realized he was singing alone, making him stop abruptly. He heard nothing from the other line, making him think that maybe Freddy was laughing into a pillow somewhere to try to make Zack feel better.

"That's enough of that." He paused, waiting for some response from Freddy. "You can stop laughing into a pillow or whatever the hell you're doing."

"I wish you would sing me to sleep," Freddy whispered into the phone. For not the first time in the conversation, Zack was glad it was being held over the phone as he felt his face burn up at the comment.

"Shit, Freddy," be breathed. "All you have to do is put in our CD."

"Yeah, but you know it's not the same. But I guess it will have to do until we move in together," Freddy sighed. This made Zack choke a bit.

"Oh, we're moving in together now?"

"Well yeah, we wouldn't want the kids to be separated, would we?" Zack smiled at the amusement he could hear in Freddy's voice. "Damn, Zack. Damn. You're going to get me into trouble."

This comment made Zack's heart beat faster, making him feel like a fucking girl. "What does that mean?"

This was answered with a chuckle from the other end. "Nothing. Don't worry about it. Hey, I think we should have a song."

"Freddy, you don't just decide what your song is. It just becomes your song. That's what normal couples do."

"Zack, what about us makes you think we're a normal couple? Besides, I've already decided what our song is." Zack waited patiently as Freddy imitated a drum roll, imagining him sitting up in bed and thrumming on his bedside table. Not that he'd been in Freddy's room for a few years, but still. He liked to imagine that it was just the same. "The song of Freddy and Zack is now, oh-so-totally, 'Maps.'"

"'Maps'? Not some rock anthem or anything?"

"Hey, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are rock," Freddy returned. "Besides, it's a pretty song for pretty people."

"I thought we were hot," Zack returned.

"Baby, we're everything and a bag of chips." This made Zack laugh and the conversation fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments.

"We'll be cool," Freddy breathed into the phone.

"Yeah." Zack understood.

"See you tomorrow. Want to meet in front of the school?"

"I'll be there. Unless I get jumped by What's-Her-Face." This, in turn, made Freddy laugh, and Zack savored the sound.

"I think this is the part where I say something sentimental and sweet, like I miss you or I lo-" he paused. "Well, you know."

"Yeah," Zack breathed. The conversation paused again.

"Bye, Zack Attack."

"Bye, Fred D."

Zack clicked off the phone and stared at the ceiling. For the first time in awhile he could hear the CD playing again and, like some silly, girly sign, it was playing "Everything's Not Lost." He decided to take it as some silly, girly sign and believe that maybe everything would turn out okay after all.

"Zack." He turned his face to see his father glaring at him from the doorway. "Don't let me catch you tying up the phone lines for that long ever again."

And then he was gone.

The next few days passed almost like clockwork, so much so that Zack almost forgot to worry. Almost. He and Freddy fell into an almost groove, meeting in the morning, making eyes with each other in Science, eating together in the bathroom at lunch (how could they make out otherwise?), and meeting after school for their last goodbye kisses before home. Then Freddy would call at night and they would talk for a half an hour and go to bed. It was almost perfect, and his parents were starting to notice how much happier he seemed. His father asked if he had "finally gotten a girl," but his mother correctly guessed that Feddy had "finally come to his senses" and the band was "doing well again." Zack made a mental note to himself to keep his secrets extra safe from his mom.

It wasn't until at night that he remembered to worry again. The most that had happened was on the first day he had gotten shoved a few times in the hall by one of Freddy's old friends, which seemed weird since they had supposedly been able to fucking drive people out of the state, so he began to wonder what the hell was up.

When Friday rolled around he forgot to worry, especially since that meant the First Band Practice Since He and Freddy Made Up. He knew the others would be worried, and he worried that some of them might not come, especially since it wasn't like they talked to the others outside of practice. He wondered what they would think. That they were friends again? They would be right. That they were crazy? They would be more right than they knew. He wondered, mostly, if they would be able to Tell. He had even brought this up with Freddy the night before, voicing his concern that they were too Obvious. Freddy told him not to worry, but then they started really talking about it. Wondering that the others would think. They finally realized that they really had no clue what the others would think. It wasn't like homosexuality was the biggest conversation topic they had ever discussed. In fact, they had never discussed it. And what would that be like?

"So, like, you know those gay people? Yeah."

"Oh, I know."

Yeah. In the end, they both decided that as long as they didn't touch or really look at each other too much, the others would never know. Because they were genius like that. Totally.

Which is probably why they were both surprised when the others came into the room and before even saying hello or any shit like that, Summer screamed out loud "Zack, you're gay?"

Freddy looked at Zack. Zack looked at Freddy. Both of their faces said the exact same thing.

Oh. Shit.him angry.


	5. Chapter 5

Build Me Up, Margerinecup

By a.j.

_Zack didn't go into the school after he saw Freddy and Random Girl. Instead, he turned right around and walked off of school campus, ignoring the warning well sounding off behind him. He didn't think about the consequences – well, not really. To some extent he wondered about what his dad would do when he found out that he had skipped school. He wondered if he would be grounded. He wondered if his dad would pull him out of public school. A part of him wondered if his dad would beat him. It had never happened before, despite what everybody seemed to think. His dad wasn't abusive. And yet, Zack never missed that look in his eye, like he really, really wanted to beat him. Badly. But he never laid a hand on him, except for a few times where he grabbed him by the arm and threw him into his room. But that wasn't bad._

_Still, despite the dangers behind it, he went across the street and walked down to the corner until he reached the gas station. He was sure this was probably the first place school police checked since it was so close to the school and all, but he didn't really care. All he wanted to do was get a Slushie, take a second and decide on what to do with his new found freedom._

_It didn't take more than a few seconds before he saw a familiar face inside the gas station. Dark hair. Dark skin. Smiling, mischievous eyes. James. Obviously, he was somebody who was easily recognized as well, because James motioned him over. Not knowing what else to do, Zack obeyed._

"_First time, huh?" James commented, grinning from ear to ear._

"_Is it that obvious?" Zack's voice was barely above a whisper, rather hoarse, and he nervously switched his backpack from one shoulder to the next._

"_That's just because you look guilty," he explained. "If you look cool, nobody notices you."_

"_Mmm." Zack thought for a second, switching the backpack again. "Maybe I should get lessons in cool. Know anybody?"_

_Before he could process the fact that he was shamelessly flirting with a boy he hardly knew, all of his thought processes were stopped by another one of those heart-wrenching grins James had._

"_I might be able to fit you in. Like, now?"_

_Zack nodded, and for some reason it felt like he was making a deal with the devil._

…………………

Katie and Lawrence pulled Summer back, eyes large and surprised, Summer's eyes large and crackling with electricity and with hurt.

There were a thousand things Zack could think of to say. He could deny everything. He could admit to everything. He could pull Freddy over and grope him and see if that was enough of an answer.

"What?" is what came out of his mouth.

Smooth, Mooneyham.

Lawrence put his hand over Summer's mouth, trying to keep the wriggling, angry girl close to him.

"Yeah, I kind of have to say 'what' too," Freddy mumbled from the side.

"Well, it's like this," Katie started, then stopped, then opened her mouth, and then closed it. Finally, at a loss of what else to say, she held out a paper to Zack.

"This is what was pasted all over our school this morning," she mumbled.

Both Zack and Freddy snatched at it, finally settling on each of them holding a corner of the paper. He quickly saw that it was a newspaper article, the headline being "SCHOOL OF ROCK STAR CAUGHT IN HOMOSEXUAL ACTS." As his mouth went dry, Freddy read the article out loud.

"Guitarist for the local band School of Rock, Zack Mooneyham, was caught earlier this week engaging in sexual acts with other males. He was seen entering the local club for homosexual men with a fake ID and, twenty minutes later, left the club with twenty-five guys, who he took out back to the alley and preformed fellatio on. When his fans were asked to comment, all responded with disgust.

"'I looked up to him,' cried a female. 'How can I love a fag?'

"Sales for School of Rock shows are expected to go down."

They both looked up at the other three people, staring with their mouths open.

"Fuck. It's not true," Zack whispered hoarsely.

"Shit, Zack! Twenty-five! I knew you were a player, but Jesus," Freddy jokes.

Zack threw a glance at his friend, who grinned back at him. This made Zack grin, too, and he immediately felt grateful to Freddy for attempting to lighten the mood.

"At least you made up," Lawrence spoke up, noticing the grins. Summer's eyes got even larger, if at all possible, and she quickly broke away from the boy's grip.

"You two?" she cried

"Summer-" Katie started, trying to pull her friend back.

"But Zack!" she continued to shout. "I thought you liked me!"

"I never said that," Zack loudly interjected.

"I told you she was hot for you ass."

"Freddy!" the other four people shouted. Freddy grinned sheepishly and stared at the ceiling,

"This is fucking serious, Freddy," Katie said. Her voice was kind of pleading, and Zack was surprised to notice for the first time that she had tears in her eyes. "We all got these notes at home and my parents are threatening to pull me out of the band."

"People might not go to our shows anymore," Lawrence threw in. This made Zack feel even worse. He knew that this was what Lawrence loved to do the most, and he didn't want it to be his fault that he would lose that.

The entire room was silent for a minute.

"I don't want the band to break up," Freddy whispered into the garage. Everyone looked at him.

"Yeah," Summer said. It was the first time that Zack could remember Freddy and Summer agreeing on something.

"Is it true?"

They all looked at Lawrence, Katie knitting her brow together.

"Lawrence-" she started.

"It's okay," Zack said, stopping whatever Katie was going to say. "And yeah."

In the silence that followed, Zack was able to look at everybody's expressions. Katie's was of thinly veiled surprise, Summer's was of aghast hurt, Lawrence's was of peaceful understanding and Freddy's was of wide-eyed horror.

"I mean, not the twenty-five guys thing. Ew. But yeah. I'm gay." He paused, let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding, and laughed. "I'm gay. Fuck. It felt nice to say it, finally."

He felt Freddy's hand reach for his, but he moved it away, not wanting Freddy to sabotage himself. But he knew what Freddy was trying to do, and he felt the comfort, especially when he saw Katie smiling at him.

"I'm glad for you, Zack," she whispered into the air.

"I always knew it," Lawrence admitted.

They all looked at Summer, who didn't look as horrified anymore.

"At least you're being true to yourself." She paused and bit her lip. "I have a gay uncle. I guess you want to meet him?"

They all laughed, and Zack felt the tension melt away for a minute, making him smile.

"But who would do this?"

"My friends," Freddy answered. "They're fucking angry because I left them to hang out with Zack."

"Seems like a stupid thing to do to get back at you," Katie commented. The blonde shrugged, looking annoyed.

"I never said I had the brightest friends in the world."

"But what are we going to do about it?" Summer asked into the air. The five of them looked at each other, all of their eyes showing the same concern. They all loved the band. He knew Freddy hated it once, and to be honest all of them hated it at some point, but that doesn't mean that they wanted it to end. They were all that was left of the original School of Rock, after the backup singers, their crew and Dewey left. And they liked it that way, just the five of them, the core of the group. None of them were ready for that to end.

"Practice?" Lawrence threw out. They all nodded, turned around and began to set up to play. Because when in doubt, play rock music. It was kind of their motto.

The practice went well, everybody using their music to help them forget their troubles. They all had a fairly good time, laughing and cracking jokes at the most inane things, ordering pizza and talking about school. With Freddy no longer angry, it was the best practice they had held in a very long time, and it made Zack long for the old days, back when everybody was young, non-sexual, happy, wondering where those times went to and if they would ever come back.

Later, when everybody was leaving, Lawrence pulled Zack aside and into a corner, getting right down to business before Zack could even say a word.

"Is Freddy your boyfriend?"

Zack gulped and looked at his long-time acquaintance – no, friend. His eyes were so calm, so inviting that he really felt no reason to lie.

"Yeah," he whispered. This made Lawrence smile.

"I always knew it would happen," he admitted.

"Oh," Zack said, looking down and blushing. Lawrence turned around and started to walk away, but Zack looked up and caught him.

"Hey! Uh, Larry, are you…" He trailed off, not sure what to say. This question was met with a shake of his head.

"No. But I don't care."

"Oh." Zack paused. "Hey. You're really cool, Larry."

Lawrence grinned and walked away, leaving Zack to feel very happy. Freddy walked over, the last one left. Naturally.

"So did Larry grope you wildly in the corner or what?"

Zack laughed at this, trying and failing to picture that every happening.

"No. He's straight. But he knows. About us."

"Shit. Seriously? So he was threatening to leave or what?" Freddy looked somewhat concerned now, his eyes wider and running back and forth, obviously trying to read Zack's answer from his eyes.

"No, he's cool with it."

"Oh." Freddy cocked his head to the side. "Damn. He's cooler than I thought."

Zack grinned, pulling Freddy in by his belt loops for a kiss. He heard Freddy groan and felt the hands reach up under his shirt, stroking light patterns against his back. Zack pulled away after a few seconds, placing a few more quick kisses against his lips before burying his head in the crook of Freddy's neck, sighing.

"Should we tell the band?"

Freddy shrugged a bit, his hands now rubbing reassuring circles on Zack's back.

"I wouldn't mind. Fuck, we might as well, they're our safest bet." He paused. "I don't think my parents would mind too much."

At the mention of parents, Zack snapped his head back. He knew his eyes must look wild, which is how he felt, wild and nervous, like a caged dog.

"Shit. Fuck. I hadn't thought of my parents. Shit! What if they get that article, too! What if they send to me, I don't know, military school or something!"

"Look on the bright side," Freddy cooed, holding Zack's head in place with one hand. "Maybe they'll send you to join the navy and then you'll get a lot of ass."

Zack rolled his eyes at this crack, pushing away from Freddy.

"This is serious, Freddy. Jesus, you know my parents, they're crazy. They might kick me out or something."

"And if they do, you can come to my house, and you'll be in such a wreck I'll finally be able to get your pants off." Zack felt his hands pull him in closer, felt Freddy pull his head down and kiss it, then hold him against his chest. "I'll take care of you, Zack. No matter what."

It was a crazy promise, and one that he knew Freddy really had little control over whether he could keep it or not. But it still made him feel a lot better, made him feel safe, and made him feel confident. And then, he knew he was ready.

…………………

He felt bad for it, almost. After all, he knew better than anyone – being told all the time – that all his dad wanted to do when he got home was to, quote, "have a nice, quiet dinner, read the evening newspaper, and go to sleep." And Zack understood this, as any job that paid as much as his dad's job paid meant he had to work way more than he could even imagine. So he already knew that any kind of dinner that was "memorable" beyond being one where there was a new dish or something stupid like that was out of the question.

And so, Zack was polite. He waited until after dinner. Until both of his parents were in the living room, sitting on their pristine white couch, their feet resting on their champagne beige carpeting, listening to the radio which was playing at a polite, quiet level, lest anybody know that their family enjoyed the classic golden oldies. And he just stood there, in the doorway, looking. Just, for the first time in years, looking. It had been a very long five years since the band started, since the last time he really paid attention to his parents. His dad's wrinkles seemed to be multiplying exponentially, gray hair now covering almost a third of his head, mixed amongst the dark brown hair he had inherited. The man seemed to give off an aura of tenseness, seeming to scream to the world that he was closed off, tired, and didn't want to talk. As for his mother, it seemed fairly obvious now how hard she was having to fight to keep looking young. Now that Zack thought about it, he realized that his mother made twice-monthly Botox appointments, and he knew she had gone in for a few plastic surgeries. Her hair looked like it had come straight from a hair-dye commercial, shiny and long and straight, the bleached blonde looking almost healthy. Almost.

He wondered why she tried so hard to look young, whether it had to do with how she looked when she met his father. He didn't really know how they had met, and he briefly wondered how their love had been. Whether it had been deeply passionate. Whether his father had known from the moment he met his mother that they were meant to be. Whether they couldn't keep their hands off of each other in the beginning. Whether they still had sex. It was weird to think about, but he kind of thought he would be happier knowing that they still loved each other, cared about each other, couldn't live without each other. He doubted that this was true, however.

They finally noticed his presence, his dad putting down the newspaper and calling his name questioningly. Zack only looked up, knowing damn well that the nervousness must be showing in every part of him, from his eyes to his voice to his fucking toe nails, he was sure. When his mother finally turned off the radio and asked if he was okay, he felt it was now or never.

Now if only his brain would follow his resolve.

"Um," he replied dumbly. "These kids have been getting letters."

He paused, looking at his parents, who stared back. His mother looked concerned, his father halfway between worried and annoyed.

"About me."

"About you? What are they saying?" His mother's imploring voice almost killed him. He didn't want to hurt her. His heart was beating wildly in his chest.

"Well," he began. "Well, that I'm, um."

Zack paused, closed his eyes, and just blurted it out.

"Guys, I'm gay."

And that was it. His heart seemed to be suffocating him, beating much faster than normal. He opened his eyes to look at them. And there they were, just dumbly staring at him, silent as the grave. He continued to look at them as well, reaching his breaking point at seventy-Mississippi. It was then that he closed his eyes, sighed, murmured that that was all he wanted to say and went to his room.

Once in there, he fell face down on his bed and just lay there. He wasn't going to fucking cry. He didn't cry. He never cried. And it wasn't like some manly shit or something that is why he didn't cry, he just. Didn't. He couldn't remember the last time he cried and he really didn't feel like starting then.

So he did what he did do; he turned on Coldplay, stared at the pattern-less, red bedspread, and thought about life. Except this time, Freddy didn't call. Zack had never felt so lonely in his entire life.


	6. Chapter 6

Build Me Up, Margerinecup

By a.j.

_He could remember his nervousness the most out of everything. It was still the first time they had ditched together, and only the second time he had ever talked to James. They had been up and down the town, James showing Zack every good thing there was to do in the hell hole they lived in. The pair had gone to the local Target and played with all of the children's toys, hitting each other with various objects. They had then snuck into the movies and watched a thriller that left Zack breathless and excited. With nothing left to do, they ran across the train tracks to the mall, where they laughed at everybody's clothes. Eventually, they went into Hot Topic and picked out clothes for each other. Zack couldn't miss the flirting that James was doing with him, especially since he touched his arm or his hand every five seconds, and he was surprised to find that, yes, he was flirting back, too. Did he particularly like James? Not especially. But was he hot and actually paying attention to him? Yes. And by the time school would have been out and they were laying on his bed, he decided that it was okay._

"_Say something to me in Spanish," he requested, turning his head to look at the other boy._

_James smiled, his lips curling up at the ends._

"_Okay," he sighed. Zack laughed as the boy hummed to himself, obviously thinking hard. "Okay." The next words that came out of his mouth were very quick and obviously sexual in nature by the fire in those black eyes and the way his hand was inching up Zack's leg._

"_What does that mean?" Zack asked, breathless._

"_Basically, it means I want you," he responded simply. Zack smiled in what he hoped was a sultry manner. His nerves were crackling, both from the hands now touching all over his body and from his nervousness and worried trying to poke through._

_Finally, he said fuck it, climbed on James, and kissed him. And by the time he got home that day, he wasn't a virgin anymore._

_It's what gay friends do._

…………………

By the time Zack got to Freddy's house, it was barely six thirty in the morning. Still, even though the dark had not completely ebbed away from the sky, he felt much safer and much calmer just standing outside the large, albeit single storied house. He slowly snuck through their gate to the side of the home, stopping once he reached the place that he knew was the kid's bathroom, the sound of Freddy's loud, raucous singing barely managing to permeate the thick glass and wall.

"The KKK took my baby away, they took her away, away from…"

Before Freddy could butcher the genius Ramones song any more, Zack stooped down, picked up a pebble, and threw it at the high window. After a few seconds he heard the shower shut off and smiled at he saw the window open and the top of Freddy's dripping head slowly peek up.

"Zack?" he whispered. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Can I hang out this morning?" He hadn't meant for his voice to sound so pitiful, honest. Well, maybe just a bit.

"Shit, fuck, yeah, hold on, go to the patio door," Freddy babbled, slowly disappearing. A few minutes later he appeared at the back of the house in a towel, dripping all over the tile floor as he let Zack in.

"What the fuck happened?" Freddy asked, one hand holding up his towel and the other getting Zack's arm wet there he touched it.

"Nothing, just," he paused.

"You told your parents."

Zack looked down, knowing he didn't need to answer.

"Jesus, Zack. I'm sorry. They're fucking idiots, don't worry about them, whatever they said I'll fucking kill them for you," he mumbled, eyes looking more sincere than Zack liked them to be. He preferred his Freddy minus the worry and the pain in his eyes.

"They didn't say anything," Zack admitted. This made Freddy suck in his breath through clenched teeth and let it out slowly.

"Christ," he sighed. And it was then that most of Zack's resolve melted away. He stepped forward and hugged Freddy, concentrating very hard on not crying. He had fucking cried last night. There was no need for a repeat performance, especially in front of a live audience.

Freddy slowly stroked his back, making little shushing noises and kissing his neck.

"This fucking hurts," Zack sighed, his voice quivering with all of the emotion he held back, his eyes a floodgate he wasn't ready to open.

"I know, baby," Freddy whispered into his ear. "You can stay here, if you need to."

And then there they were, two friends, finally, again. They were boyfriends, but before any of the boyfriend things came into play, they were friends. They watched out for each other. They cared about each other. They joked and played and hit and smiled and it fucking meant something, something good, something better, something complete.

And it was almost enough.

"Zack Mooneyham? Is that you?"

They both looked up to see Freddy's little sister rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, her short, pajama bottoms falling off of her skinny hips. For the first time, Zack realized that he was on the floor, still in Freddy's arms.

"Hey Nicole," he mumbled, disentangling himself from his boyfriend. "You got big."

The blonde girl just blinked at the pair, finally stating the obvious.

"Are you guys friends again?" she asked, pulling down at her pants, making Zack blush.

"Yeah," Freddy answered, grinning and hugging Zack to him. "In fact, he's my bitch."

Nicole's face was blank for a second.

"You guys are weird." She paused. "Why are you only in a towel?"

"Long story," Zack answered quickly.

"Whatever," she sighed before going into the bathroom, leaving the two boys alone again.

"Dude, when did your sister get boobs?"

Freddy gasped and smacked Zack in the head.

"Fucking pervert, looking at my goddamn sister!" he fake-screamed, pushing Zack down and pretending to be trying to beat him up.

"Hey, she was the one pulling her shorts down. Obviously all of the Jones' are hot for my bod."

At this, they laughed and smiled at each other. After a few minutes of this, Zack cleared his throat and called attention to what he was sure would become a problem for him.

"Um, Fred D., maybe you should put some clothes on." This made the other boy smile and grind down onto Zack a bit.

"You know you like it, Mooneyham," he growled.

Zack would later find it a wonder that the two of them had managed to get to school at all.

…………………

School was hard enough on a normal day. It was complete and total fucking hell when pretty much every person in the state had received the fake newspaper article in the mail and there were roughly, oh, a bajillion copies that literally filled up the school, worse than in Mean Girls, not that Zack would ever admit to watching that movie. He felt the weight of a thousand eyes everywhere he went, all judging him and screaming at him in their silence. They he was a bad person. A fag. A worthless pile of shit.

The only part of the day that seemed worthwhile was lunch, where Freddy and Zack once again met in the bathrooms. Freddy held Zack and rocked him back and forth, all the while muttering death threats to whoever bothered him. They didn't eat lunch that day, just, you know, each other's tongues or whatever. But it was enough for Zack, who wordlessly mouthed the whole time the words he was screaming in his head: I love you I love you I love you I love you.

It wasn't a new thought in his head. It had been there since he was thirteen and he realized that yes, he still had a crush on Freddy and that he wanted everything from him: his love, his anger, his laughter, his problems, his good and his bad. He wanted to share it with him forever. And it meant Something. Something good.

He just often wondered if Freddy felt the same way now, too.

The last couple of periods were hell, a few people in his class even having the balls to make comments; one boy he didn't even know actually cornered him, cupped him between his legs and said "this is what you like, right? You'd get hard for me, right you fucking fag?"

Still, it wasn't as bad as the feeling of his stomach dropping when he walked outside the school doors with Freddy and saw his father leaning against his black sports coat. Every happy thought he had from being with his boyfriend, every plan of going to Freddy's house, making him a PB-and-J, snuggling next to him on his bed and kissing him over and over until neither of them could think straight, all of it was gone.

"Zackary, we need to talk," his father said sternly once they reached the car. He then turned to the blonde boy and nodded at him, acknowledging his existence. "Freddy."

"Hi Mr. Mooneyham," Freddy almost-whispered uncertainly. "It's nice to see you."

"Same." He paused. "Need a ride home?"

Zack looked at Freddy, who looked at him for a split-second. "Sure. That would be great."

The car ride was one of the most silent, most tense, worse car rides in the history of the entire fucking world, Zack was sure. Nobody spoke, the only sound being the echo of his heart beating, pounding in his ears. It took forever, but at the same time they had reached Freddy's house all too quickly.

Zack wanted to reach out and touch Freddy, to get one last hug, one last kiss, one last "good luck," but they didn't. Freddy just gave him a look, a look that said that he cared and good luck and call me later. And it was almost enough.

The minute the car door was closed and the engine was rumbling, Zack's dad finally started speaking.

"What happened this morning, Zackary," he asked casually, not taking his eyes off the road for a minute.

"I went to Freddy's," he answered quietly.

"At six in the morning? You thought sneaking out of the house would be okay?"

Zack winced, feeling his father's anger slowly start to bubble and grow.

"Er-"

"Did you think about how stupid that is? Who knows what could have happened! You could have been raped or kidnapped! Did you ever think of that?"

"Um-"

"Why the hell would you do something like that?" he screeched, his voice stradily getting higher. Zack could not remember ever seeing his father like this before.

"I didn't," he whispered, his voice cracking. "I didn't want to see you and mom. I thought, er. That maybe. You. Hated me." His voice slowly got quieter as he spoke, all of his emotions and fears starting to show.

The car's tired screeched as his father abruptly pulled over to the side of the road, scaring the shit out of Zack. He unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to face his son, and when Zack looked at him he saw a face he had never seen before on his father.

"Zack. I would never."

"But-"

"Never. Your mother wouldn't either. You're our only son and we love you."

"But you always yell at me!" Zack screamed, everything he had held in for years coming out. "You are never satisfied and always want me to do better and tell me you're disappointed in me and you won't fucking let me be me!"

The last word seemed to reverberate throughout the car.

"Zackary, I just want you to live the best life you can," his father said quietly. Zack breathed deeply, trying to calm down and, fuck, what was with him and having to cry all of a sudden? Goddamn.

"But you always push me and it's like, like I can never please you. Like you want a different son."

And with that, Zack's father was hugging him for the first time in his entire life.

"Zackary, we love you. You scared the hell out of your mother and me, because we-" his voice cracked, making Zack's eyes go wide. "We thought you had run away, or gotten murdered, or-"

"Dad, I'm fine. I'm okay."

"We know you don't have many friends, and you always wear black and listen to angry or sad music and we thought you might want to kill yourself."

"I'm fine. Really."

His dad pulled back, and Zack really Saw him. Saw all of his worried and anxieties and wrinkles, and for the first time he wondered if maybe he had caused any of the wrinkles, and felt guilty.

"We just want you to be okay and safe." His dad paused and looked down, his neck starting to redden. "I know we never gave you the birds and the bees talk before, but, uh. Do you want to know how to put on a condom?"

Zack started laughing, thinking about how behind his dad was in his life. Shit, with all that he and James did Zack might as well be giving his Dad lessons in condom usage. But that was a very unpleasant picture and thought process, so he quickly put that thought away.

"That's okay, Dad."

His dad smiled a bit at this.

"It's nice to hear you laugh, Zackary. God knows the last time I've heard it," he commented, twinges of sadness lining his voice.

"So you and Mom are okay with me being, uh, gay?" Zack asked after a few moments.

"Well, uh, we're worried," he admitted, scratching his nose in a nervous habit that Zack had never seen him do before. "We don't want you to get AIDS or get raped in a bathroom. We just want you to be careful."

This made Zack smile shyly. It was as if everything he had ever wanted to hear – well, besides hearing Freddy say that he loved him after a long night of fucking – had just been said. Not that it all happened in the way he always pictured it, but still.

"Thanks, Dad," he said. His father smiled at him, buckled his seatbelt back up, and drove them home. When they got there, his mother was there to smother him in a bone-crushing hug, pet his hair and sob into his shoulder about how worried she had been. And he held his crying mother, guilt reaching into his deepest places. He had never wanted to make his beautiful mother cry, ever.

By dinner the household wasn't normal, but it wasn't bad. Everybody seemed a lot happier- no, a lot more comfortable. He knew his parents didn't quite understand everything yet, and weren't completely happy or comfortable with their child being a homosexual, but they were trying. They grounded him for a week and gave him pamphlets called "So You're A Teenage Homosexual- Now What?" and "Teen Sexuality and You."

And it was a lot more than he had expected. And more than anything, it was enough.


	7. Chapter 7

Build Me Up, Margerinecup

By a.j.

_After that day, school seemed less and less important, and getting blow jobs from a pretty Mexican boy seemed like his top priority in life. They had sex nearly every single day, coming home straight after - or, more often than not - in the middle of - school, go to James' room and dispose of their clothes, spending the afternoon touching each other and, after the first month, holding each other. When Zack first talked about Freddy, James would get a sad look on his face and look at his dresser. He would later tell about his own ex-best friend, Michael Rodriguez, the half-white, half-Mexican beauty that he had known since he was little. Except in James' case, Michael didn't just leave one day without an explaination. He stopped talking to James because he was very much against homosexuality._

_Sometimes Zack liked to pretend that sex with James was healing, that they were bonding on a level he had never known. He pretended to be in love with him, and on Christmas he gave him a present awkwardly, blushing as he pulled a small gift out of his backpack. James had only smiled, blushed, and pulled a larger box out from underneath his bed. Zack had given James a watch, a gold-banded beauty that had once belonged to his grandfather. James gave Zack his favorite book of poetry._

_Zack was quite sure they would be together forever. On Valentines Day, Zack had finally taken James to his own home, both of them sneaking out of school before second period as to avoid the parents. There they had sex many, many times and walked around Zack's house naked, making pancakes and touching each other._

_In April, Zack had decided to surprise James with a visit to his work. The manager of the Burger King had told him that he was in the break room, which is right where Zack went. And saw James making out with the person he recognized from James' dresser._

_The next day James explained about life and how he liked Zack a lot but would always be in love with Michael. Zack understood. At least he thought he did. He said he did. He didn't._

_He asked if they could ever hang out again, and James answered no._

_The last thing he heard was that James moved away after the school year ended. They never did speak again. And he didn't think they ever would._

…………………

The morning sun woke him, its tendrils of light hitting his face in just the right way to simultaneously rouse him and annoy the hell out of him. He grunted and rolled over, pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes, determinedly keeping them closed.

And suddenly, everything from the past day rolled back into his head at top speed. Sneaking out to see Freddy. School. Everybody making fun of him. Talking to his Dad in the car. How his parents were pretty much okay with everything.

And for the first time in awhile, he woke up feeling like life was complete.

Of course, just as the happy, fuzzy feeling was starting to settle comfortably in his stomach his mother came in, picked a pillow up off of the floor and threw it at him.

"Zack, honey, breakfast is ready," she half-yelled, obviously not sure whether her son was awake or not. Zack grunted in response, rolled into the wall defiantly and mumbled something akin to "I don't want to." He then rolled over a few more times to put on a show for him mom, moaning in protest the whole way like he was five years old. Finally, he underestimated his size and ended up falling off of his bed with a loud bump.

Zack groaned and rubbed his head, sitting up and trying to untangle his legs from his comforter, cursing the sound of his mom's laughter from the doorway.

"We expect to see you down there in a few minutes, Zack," she said. "And don't even think of climbling out the window."

Zack mumbled to himself as she left, a silent "Goddamn motherfucking cunt face scrotum lips grargh" before finally emerging. He stripped and quickly threw on a random pair of jeans and a green tee-shirt his mom had gotten him last year in an attempt to get him to wear colors that weren't black.

The minute he sat down at the dinner table, his father set down his newspaper and started speaking to him.

"Two weeks, no phone, no cell phone, no internet, nothing outside of school and band practice. Two weeks. If you break one of these then you get an extra week attached on. Understood?"

Zack nodded, staring intently at his pancakes. He had forgotten that he was grounded.

"Oh, and no more sleepovers with boys, okay? Your girl friends can come over if they want. And, er," he paused, looking rather uncomfortable. "Do you have, a," he paused to cough. "You know."

"Boyfriend," his mother inserted from the kitchen stove, her voice slightly higher than normal.

"Uh. Yeah." And suddenly, everybody in that kitchen was blushing. There was a long silence, in which his mother finished her own food, cleaned up, and sat down to eat.

"Who," she managed to ask in between little bites.

Another silence.

"Freddy."

Another silence.

"I never liked him." Zack's dad. "Are you sure you don't like that Tsai kid?"

This caused Zack to laugh, his snorting chortle going into his milk glass.

"Lawrence isn't gay, Dad," he choked out, causing his father's brow to furrow.

"Are you sure?" he asked, sounding disbelieving.

"Yeah, Dad, I'm sure. He likes the ladies. A lot."

"Oh." His father sighed, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Freddy is a very nice boy," his mother inserted into the conversation.

"Sure," his father shrugged.

"Yeah," Zack said with a smile.

…………………

School wasn't exactly easier after yesterday. It wasn't as if everybody knew that he had talked to his parents and decided that he was a pretty okay guy and wanted to stop messing with him. If anything, people were messing with him more, and the few guys he had thought were gay had, by third period, all cornered him at some point and asked him out. Still, it was as if all of the shadows that had followed him since he was twelve had suddenly gone away, leaving him with a brighter, safer world.

His shirt helped. In fact, even if he hadn't noticed which shirt he had put on, everybody else did. Especially Freddy, who had pulled him away from the class at the beginning of chemistry to talk to him, his face etched with worry.

"Fuck, Zack, are you okay? Did your dad finally fucking hit you? What the hell happened? Jesus, I was worried and waited for a call, and what the fuck are you wearing, it's really, really fucking hot, makes your eyes look all melty and chocolatey and mmm, Zack and chocolate and me licking chocolate and why haven't we had sex yet?"

Zack was suddenly very glad for the fact that the classroom was big and that Freddy had a very quiet whisper-voice. They didn't get a chance to talk during Chemistry, leaving them, as usual, with their only chance to talk being in the bathroom. As soon as they were in there, however, very little talking went on; Freddy immediately pushed Zack against the wall of the stall and kissed him, hard enough to bruise his lips. Zack gasped at first, then kissed back, knowing that their lunches at school would be the only times they had to make out.

When they finally broke apart, Freddy rested his head in the crook of Zack's neck.

"Fuck, fuck fuck fuck. I'm sorry, Zack. Fuck. I should have asked how you were. Why couldn't I stop myself? Fuck. Jesus. I'm horrible. Fuck. Sorry," he whispered, berating himself. Zack pulled him up by the head and kissed Freddy quickly to calm him down.

"Shut up, Freddy. I'm fine. Okay?"

Freddy nodded, worry still in his face.

"What happened with your dad?"

Zack smiled in response, looking directly into Freddy's eyes and stroking the blonde hair underneath his fingers. "He's okay with me being gay. Pretty much. I'm grounded, no phone or internet or boy sleepovers anymore. But he doesn't hate me. Oh, and he and mom approve of the two of us. Sort of. I think. Maybe."

Freddy smiled and pulled Zack in, hugging him tightly.

"Zack, that's great news! Oh my God, that's amazing." He paused, letting the words sink in. "Wait, you told them already? What did they say? I know your mom likes me cause I'm hot and all, but what did your dad say?"

"First? Ew. Second, my dad said I could do better but that you were fine. Or something," Zack said, trying hard to remember exactly what it was his dad had said.

"Normally I would be like 'what the fuck! I'll kick his ass!' but I'm kind of distracted by you. Damn, Zack, green looks really, really good on you. I mean, really. You look like a pretty candy bar for me to unwrap, like those cookies-and-cream chocolate bars nobody buys anymore even though they're seriously the best candy bars out there. But yeah, you look like that. Holy Jesus on a stick, I really want to do dirty things to you right now," Freddy rambled on, his eyes staring at Zack's chest the entire time. Zack only laughed in response, moving his hands to his boyfriend's back.

"And since you can't come over to my house to sleep over anymore, I guess we had better make the most of lunches," Zack murmured, surprising himself with how he was speaking.

"Fuck yeah," Freddy whispered, leaning in to kiss Zack again.

…………………

He couldn't say he wasn't surprised when he was called into the Principal's office. When a school is filled with tabloids about a certain student at the school, especially ones that depicted scenes in the worst of gay porn, the Principal would most likely have to intervene and talk to the boy in question. However, he was kind of surprised when he saw his parents in the office as well, his mother looking uncomfortable and his father looking angry.

"I can assure you my son hasn't done anything wrong, Ms. Fields," he heard his father saying as he came in, his voice tense and thinly restrained.

"Welcome, Zack, please sit down," his principal said in a sickly-sweet voice as he came in. She was pretty young, probably no older than thirty-two, with dark skin and a prominent jaw. Zack had seen her all of two times in his life, the first time during the freshman orientation and the second being when she came into his freshman Honors English class to talk about the importance of the standardized tests at the end of the year and the other important exams that would plague his high school years. He thought she was a bitch.

Still, he sat down warily, staring her down the entire time. She coughed once, shuffled papers on her desk, and looked up, resolve plastered all over her face.

"I don't know if you know, Mr. and Mrs. Mooneyham, but some very interesting flyers have been passed around our school for the last few days. There have even been reports of them being sent directly to peoples' houses, and I have gotten a few calls from parents concerning your son.

"The first thing I have to ask is, of course, whether any of this is true."

"Of course it isn't!" his mother shouted, scaring the shit out of Zack. She was usually pretty quiet. Ms. Fields glared at her.

"And your name is?"

"Diane. And my husband is Peter," his mother answered through clenched teeth.

"Right. Well, Diane, please try to control yourself. The question was directed at Zack."

Zack vaguely wondered if Bitch Fest 3000 was about to start.

"Zack?" his father whispered, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Your principal asked you a question."

"What?" Zack blinked, shaking away the fantasy of his mom beating Ms. Fields over the head with a bat. "Oh. Yeah. No. It's not true."

"Are you a homosexual?" Ms. Fields asked, her eyes boring through him.

"Why?" he asked, clenching his teeth. He had never liked her, but he liked her a lot less right now.

"Please answer the question, Zack," she asked, her voice back to that goddamn sick tone.

"Shit, yes," he sighed, rolling his eyes, wanting to piss her off. Surprisingly, she didn't call him on his dirty word.

"Do you have any idea who did this?"

"Yeah," he said. "I don't have any proof, but I know who did it."

She nodded and made an understanding sound, closing her eyes as if in thought.

"I'll do my best to punish them, Zack, because this definitely falls under grounds for an expulsion. What they did was 'gay-bashing' and discrimination. I would even go as far as to say that you have the right to sue them, if you want to," she told him. His eyes grew large. He knew it was inappropriate, hateful and a downright shitty thing to do, but he never thought it was anything that serious.

"This might be a hard question, Zack, but," Ms. Fields continued, then paused, seeming to be trying to think of the best way to put her question. "since the incident, have people, well, harassed you physically, verbally, or otherwise?"

Zack nodded, thinking back to all of the comments people had made and the time he was cornered by the boy. This caused his mother to gasp and put her arms around him.

"It's okay, though. I'm fine. Really," he said, trying to calm his mother down.

"Well," Ms. Fields interjected. "I know it's unfair, but I have to recommend that you switch schools."

An uproar came from both his parents, scaring both Zack and Ms. Fields.

"He wasn't the one-"

"Unfair! He didn't-"

"Shut up!" Zack yelled, causing his parents to quiet and glare at him. He paused and caught his breath. "Shit, you guys. It's okay. I can switch schools. I don't care."

They stared at him.

"Are you sure?" his father asked.

"Yeah. It's fine," Zack answered, his voice quiet.

"Well, I'll give you all a few days to discuss the idea. In the meantime, Zack, I need you to write a statement for me tonight about who you think the culprit is and every person who harassed you. I promise I'll do my best to give you justice."

Zack nodded, still shocked beyond belief. Fuck, he hadn't thought it was really that big of a deal. He didn't want to get people in trouble, but when he looked at his parents and how pained they were he knew he had to do something.

As the family left, his father telling him that he didn't have to stay at school the rest of the day, his principal smiled and said goodbye.

"Oh, and Zack?" she started. He turned around.

"What?"

"Try to watch that potty mouth."

Zack smiled and nodded.

…………………

Zack really liked Saturdays, because most of the time it meant band practice. He was especially happy for that Saturday, as it was the first real human contact he had had in days with anybody he actually liked, except for lunches with Freddy. However, his particular band practice wasn't his favorite, since it was less of a practice and more of a "let's interrogate Zack" day.

"So are you coming to Richardson Prep?" Summer asked, swinging her legs as she sat on the counter in Zack's second garage.

"I don't know," he answered, biting on his pinky nail. "I kind of want to stay in public school. Besides, everyone at R.P. knows about me, right?"

They all nodded, making the same understanding noise that Ms. Fields had been making a few days before, like they were all stretching out an "m."

"I still can't believe your parents are so cool about everything," Katie commented, playing her bass as loudly as she could so that Zack's parents would think they were practicing.

"They just don't hate me. It's not like they fucking gave me condoms, lube and gay porn and turned me to the world," Zack said nonchalantly, tuning his guitar.

"It's not that bad. You just got grounded," she answered back. "And they're even okay with you having a boyfriend who you have, by the way, forgotten to mention who it is."

Lawrence laughed and Zack looked at him, both sharing a smile.

"It's obvious," the Asian boy said.

"You?" Summer gasped, her eyes boggling.

"It had better not be," Freddy snapped, staring at Zack. He had been surprisingly quiet the whole meeting, just sitting there tapping the high hat with a smile on his face. "I'd have to kick his ass."

"Oh. My. Fucking. God," Katie said, forgetting her bass and just grinning like a mad woman.

"Freddy, you're gay?" Summer gasped, get gaze going from Lawrence to Freddy, looking both confused and somewhat relieved, Zack was quick to notice.

"No. Yeah. Kind of," Freddy floundered, looking at Zack. "For Zack, fuck yeah."

There was a brief silence, where Zack just smiled at Freddy, his face flushing. It was only broken when Summer's cell phone went off.

"Excuse me," she said, answering it and going off into the corner to speak privately.

"That's really cute," Katie whispered, going up and hugging the two of them. "I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," Zack said, his face still very red. It was weird, everybody knowing, and even weirder that people didn't seem to have a problem with it. When she hugged Freddy, she whispered something into his ear, making the other boy blush. Before Zack could wonder what that was about, he realized that Lawrence had come up to him.

"Hey Larry," he smiled, seeing the boy who he had recently come to see in a new light.

"My sister is a lesbian," he said suddenly, getting right to the point. "I haven't seen her in years. My parents kicked her out. I loved her."

"I'm really sorry," Zack whispered, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"You are lucky, Zack," he said simply.

Yeah. He was.

A screech came from the corner, causing everybody to turn around and stare at Summer, who was currently jumping up and down and screaming happily.

"The fuck?" Freddy asked simply, causing everybody to laugh.

Summer quickly did her best to calm down, flapping her hands up and down near her face.

"Zack, I could kiss you right now," she said, running over and hugging the boy in question. "You just rocketed this band to new levels?"

"Um. The fuck?" Zack had to ask, copying his boyfriend.

"Apparently those a-holes who pranked you sent the same article to some record producers, but it totally backfired on them! A new company, Dive, read the article, looked us up, and downloaded those cheap recordings we made a few years ago and sold to our friend. And they liked us! They want to sign us! And put us on tour this summer!"

"Holy fuck," Katie whispered.

"We're going on tour!" Summer screeched, resuming her happy dance around the room.

Zack's mother opened the door to the garage, a confused look on her face.

"What's the matter, kids?" she asked, sounding moth annoyed and confused at the same time.

"We're going to be famous!" Katie screamed, joining Summer in her happy dance. Mrs. Mooneyham, still confused, looked to Zack just in time to see him happily embrace Freddy.

"Okay, Zack, remember what your father and I said about, er," she said, pausing. "You know."

With that, she exited the room. The School of Rock looked at each other, paused, and started laughing.

He was dating Freddy Jones, the object of his childhood affections. He was in love. He had a kick-ass rock band. He had good friends. He had parents who loved him, even if he was gay. He had a lot of people around him who understood. He was about to be signed to a record label and go on tour.

Yeah. Lawrence was right. He was pretty fucking lucky.


End file.
